Thursday, 6th of October.

I still had a ton of drugs left over from when Jordan and Colleen and I smoked, so I asked Mickey if she wanted to finish it off with me. I went to 11 Pleasant around 6 and got started with the smoking and the drinking. Teddy was there, and he took a bunch of grav hits, so did Mickey and Ashley. I don't like grav hits, so I was using Colleen's bowl. Between 6 and 8 I had at least 5 bowls to my face, 4 hits to each bowl. By the time the Simpsons were over I was fucked up, but not from alcohol (I only had 2 beers in those 2 hours). I was so fucked up I couldn't move, I just sat there watching the TV.

I ordered some DP Dough and ate that watching the girls play beer pong. I played a few games but I wasn't doing too good due to the pot. We kept losing, so I sat out while two other girls came over and started playing. I watched in a zoned-out stupor. Around 10 we headed out to Brian's. The walk was cold because I was wearing a skirt and a tee-shirt and no jacket. We got there but the party was pretty dead. Everyone was sitting around watching TV. Someone was out on a beer run. I was too stoned to really think, and I just wanted to go back and go to bed.

I was about to walk out the door when someone handed me and LL a beer. I opened it and started drinking but it was LaBatt's and nasty shit. I only drank about half of it. LL found some joints in her purse so we went out back and smoked that, which was pretty bad. By the time we got back inside I was sick of being at the place so I just walked out and back to my dorm.

I waited for Chad to get back from P-Chem and chatted online with Neil and Jordan. I was sick of them, so I went to bed. Chad knocked on the door and I let him in. I was feeling so weird and fucked up, but it was nice because it wasn't alcohol fucked up, it was pot so I was very relaxed and calm. We layed in bed for a little bit, and for some reason I felt like a number sign (#). The way I was positioned was sort of in the shape of a number sign. So I blurted this out and Chad found this extremely hilarious. (I'm not sure he'll ever left me live it down.) Also, there was something about lava, but that's sort of muddled and weird.

We moved down to his room and I fell asleep while he studied for a test for the next day. LL called around 2 to see where I was. Hey, at least someone cares. Just lately I don't feel like a fit in with them all that much. When I get messed up I don't want to hang out with them. Which sucks because they're cool people. I just sometimes wonder if they care about me.